Arthur Schopenhauer was a famous buzzkill.
The 19th-century philosopher wrote essays like "The Fullness of Nothingness" and "On the Vanity and Suffering of Life." He saw life as "a pendulum between suffering and boredom" and the world itself as a form of hell.
In short, Artie was not the sort of guy you'd invite to plan your next birthday party -- funeral maybe, but not anything involving joy.
That hasn't stopped people from sticking quotes attributed to Schopenhauer in birthday cards for people of a certain age, however. Chances are, if you've made it to age 40 or 50, someone has thrust a depressing looking greeting card in your hand containing words attributed to the curmudgeonly philosopher: "Just remember, once you're over the hill,
you begin to pick up speed."
Sure, anyone who's made it to 40 or 50 knows this is true, and it's a bit of sobering wisdom couched in humor. There's a problem, however: It's a quote that's still way too cheery for Schopenhauer, who probably never wrote it.
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