My Paparazzo Profile

You can hire someone to take photos of you all day long. It’s a vanity thing. So what would your portfolio look like?

Imagine walking out your front door in bathrobe and slippers to grab the morning paper. FLASH! Someone snaps your picture.

Stopped at a streetlight in your car. FLASH!

Walking into Starbucks for a meeting. FLASH!

Shopping for shoes with a friend. FLASH!

Writing your pastoral prayer for Sunday’s service while watching American Idol. FLASH!

Of course, with today’s digital technology and high-speed shutters, no FLASH is needed to capture just about anything. Still, this is the lifestyle of the rich and famous. Your entire life documented constantly by photographers known as paparazzi. Paparazzo (the singular form) originates from an Italian word for the annoying buzzing that a mosquito makes in one’s ear.

It’s an appropriate metaphor for the photojournalistic assault these rag-mag contractors unleash upon celebrities. In 1997, Princess Di was killed in a high-speed car crash while her driver was trying to evade four paparazzi following them through a Paris tunnel. But there are many more...