Nice Guy Conundrum

Nice Guy Conundrum

Sunday, September 7, 2003
| Proverbs 22:1-2,8-9,22-23

Single nice guys are wondering what it takes to get a young woman’s attention these days. Seems as though they prefer bad boys. That may not be true, but in any case, the writer of Proverbs has some advice to those who want to polish up their reputations.

“Nice guys finish last.”

This impressive universal truth is usually credited to the late, great baseball manager Leo Durocher.

Little did he know that this little piece of dugout wisdom would later be applied to everything from the diamond to the dating scene, from ball games to bar scenes. Just ask any of the millions of “nice guys” who find themselves at home alone on Saturday night while women who say they’re looking for a nice guy are on an uptown bar stool chatting it up with bad-boys-bachelors.

Even the U.S. Census Bureau confirms that for every woman who says she just wants a nice guy, there are 17.5 flinging themselves at complete jerks.

Granted, this is not true of all women. But it’s true enough. The phenomenon has spawned newspaper articles and pop psychology analysis. Experts refer to it as the Nice Guy Conundrum. While a nice guy may have a lot of gal pals, when it comes to romance he’s “just friends,” which is dating-speak for “loser.” The nicer a guy is, it seems, the...

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