We rely on being able to do some things automatically, without thinking our way through them. Some things -- like tying our shoelaces or riding a bike -- are the result of skills we have learned so well that our bodies perform them without fail. Other things -- like brushing our teeth or putting on the seat belt -- are habits we have developed so fully that we no longer realize we are doing them.
But in other parts of our lives, we don't want to be on automatic pilot or to rely on programmed skills or habits to get us through. In some situations, we need to give our full attention and demand that same degree of attention from others. Spouses can quickly tell the difference between an automatic, "I love you," and a heartfelt expression of genuine love. Our kids can tell the difference between an automatic, "What did you do at school today?" and a parent's honest, authentic interest in the events in their lives. Friends can tell the difference between an automatic, "How are you?"...
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