Is that Even a Thing?

When we happen to hear of something really unusual, unique, we might — in the slang of the day — say, "Is that even a thing?" In this text, God says, "Yes, it is a thing — a new thing."

We begin today with a short quiz on 21C linguistics. The following represents a potential verbal exchange between a male and female teenager that incorporates some of the top slang words of 2014. See if you can interpret what is actually being said:

He: Bae, you're slayin' today. Your hair is on fleek. Bible. Love our ship.

She: Feels. Can't even.

He: You wanna roll up with my squad later and get some pizza scream?

She: Is that even a thing?

(NOTE: This exchange was tested for authenticity with the 17-year-old son of a Homiletics staffer. He understood perfectly.)

Here's the answer. You get extra hipster points if you nailed it:

He: Babe, you look beautiful today. Your hair is perfect. I swear on the Bible. I love our relationship.

She: I am touched in a way that I cannot express.

He: Would you like to go with my friends and me later to sample some pizza-flavored ice cream?

She: Is there such a thing as pizza-flavored ice cream?

Note the deft way in which actual words are shortened or...