How Not to Shorten Your Life

All things considered, we'd prefer to live as long as possible. Then, why do we do things that are guaranteed to shorten our lives?

Jerks are everywhere. There are the painfully annoying and woefully unaware jerks -- like the guy in your office who smacks his gum so loud it shakes the walls of your cubicle; your husband's second cousin who manages to show up at every family event, devouring desserts and consuming conversation with endless stories about himself.

There are the straight-up rude and downright disrespectful jerks. They're the worst. You know, it's the girl who knowingly cuts in front of you at Starbucks only to order something for everyone in her office. No apology. No recognition of her rudeness, just a curt demand for "18 half non-fat, half one percent, extra-hot, split-quad lattes with whip. Now." And, of course, there's the guy who rides your bumper on the way to work only to blow past you later, honking his horn and shaking a fist, all while updating his Facebook status.

They come in different shapes and sizes. Some are annoying and others rude. But regardless of particular nuances, there's one...