As kids we quickly learned that there were two basic types of situations we might find ourselves in at any time. There were the "me-first!" situations. If we had lots of brothers and sisters to contend with, of course, sibling rank usually determined which "me" actually got to be "first." "Me first" was a screech we learned to utter when ice cream was brought out, the pony rides came into view, someone was being chosen to sit up front, or it was time to tell a story.
We screamed "me first" because we wanted the best selection, the biggest piece, the rarest color, and because we wanted to be the focus of attention, center-stage, the envy of all who had to wait a turn. Winning the "me-first" competition made us feel special, made us feel, just for a moment, like the most important person in the world.
But kids also quickly learn that there are some situations where you definitely don't want to be first. These are known as "you-go-ahead" situations. Part of perfecting your response in...
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